Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
