Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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