Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
