Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
