Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
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