ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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