Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Randomize
