it wasn't lemon gatorade
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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