Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
