If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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