how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
