one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
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