Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
