M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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