Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
