Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
