you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
