She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
