well I can't set my house on fire every night
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
