Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
