wakey wakey hands off snakey
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
