I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Randomize
