I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
