I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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