you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
