I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
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