You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
