and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
