big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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