I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
