Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
