i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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