So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
