i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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