Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
