Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
