it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
