mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
The power of my boobs compel you
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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