He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
