so that wasnt chicken after all
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
