Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
