I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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