I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
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