Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
