Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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