So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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