Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
