I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
