I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
