Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I need to align my fucking chakras
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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