the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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