after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
